zhmort (zhmort) wrote,

I Just Got a Phone Call From Sean Connery

Or, at least, it sounded like Sean Connery.

Okay, actually, if I'm to be honest here, it was just some guy from Hollywood Video, calling to tell me I had some overdue DVDs, though he was obviously imitating Sean Connery, for purposes of my entertainment, I assume.

Okay, actually, if I'm to be really honest here, it was just a recording. It wasn't even an actual, live Hollywood Video employee imitating Sean Connery. It was a canned Hollywood Video employee.

Okay, actually, if I'm to be really, really honest here, I suppose I have to admit that I don't even know if the voice belonged to an actual Hollywood Video employee. He did say, "This is Hollywood Video...", but perhaps he was speaking loosely. Maybe he was just a consultant, working on a big Hollywood Video Sean Connery-imitating, money-making, video-returning, ponzi-scheming... project-thing. Probably his contract ran out long ago, and now he's sitting in a room somewhere, thinking about what it used to be like, back during the bubble, when the money was flowing, and the Sean Connery-imitating gigs were so plentiful and easy to find. Probably, he's remembering back to the time when he used to quit Sean Connery-imitating gigs mid-project, just because there were so many other Sean Connery-imitating projects nearby willing to pay him twice as much for half the work. Plus expenses. And a company car. And free cheerleaders.

Wait. What were we talking about?

Oh yeah... it was about how I totally mingle with Hollywood legends on a daily basis.

Pretty cool, huh?
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