zhmort (zhmort) wrote,
zhmort
zhmort

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More Moving and Nesting, Plus A New Favorite TV Show

While M, K, T & R moved T & R stuff today, m spent time over at our new house setting up stuff. She arranged the kitchen.

After getting done with T & R stuff, we grabbed my bass amp and little hand drums (which had been stored at T's & R's place until today), and took them to our new place. We then stopped at KFC on the way back to the apartment, and then when we got back, sat on the couch for a while vegging, LJ surfing, and watching TV. (I know that "watching TV" and "LJ surfing" are redundant with "vegging," but you already know I prefer more words rather than less, even when I'm repeating myself, so let's just move along now.)

Fear Factor was on TV, and we got to see a whole episode. I love that show already. I love thinking about how I would fare with each challenge. Naturally, I feel I would win every show. That's how much of an arrogant ass I am. From my seat on the couch, I am pretty much fearless.

In this particular episode, the first challenge was jumping from the top of one truck trailer to another, about 10 feet apart, with the two trucks moving at 40 miles per hour. Contestants got to wear a padded suit and helmet with full facemask, and they were suspended from a crane with a harness as a safety wire. Before someone jumped, we weren't sure how the contestants safety was guaranteed. But since the first girl failed to make it accross (she landed on the side, bounced, and fell, and was caught by the crane in the end), we got to see how that worked. 3 of the 6 were eliminated in the first stunt. They all kept taking off too far back on the first truck and making the jump too long. It was awesome.

The second stunt was about eating worms and lying in worms. Stinky worms with legs. Disgusting... but interesting to think about whether I could do it if $50,000 or my life depended on it. (I think I could do it. My gross-out/willies-ometer gets pegged by these things, but I know from past experience that I am able to shut that part of my brain off when necessary. Also, I have an Iron Stomach. I could eat a piano, in just a few bites, if I could just slather enough mayonaise on it and had a big glass of some drink with taste (Gatorade is good) to wash it down. One girl (the only remaining girl) was eliminated because she would have to eat worms, and she wouldn't do it. She was a vegetarian, I think... but mostly she was just grossed out. (I think she actually vomited while looking at the human-size box of stinky worms, though they didn't show that directly.)

The final stunt (just two guys left at this point) was really cool. They put both guys in protective suits, then strapped one to the center of a huge bullseye, and the other to a bungee cord. Both were raised up in the air, with the bungee guy tethered to the ground (so he'd take off like Superman when the tether was removed). This guy was given a semi-automatic paintball gun. So after he gets launched, he has to shoot at the guy on the bullseye (who is now suspended about 80 feet of the ground). His paint shots are measured, and then they're taken down and the roles are reversed. The guy who shoots paint closest to the center of the bullseye wins. Apparently getting nailed with the paintballs stings. So that was an added bonus for each of them... the opportunity to take out their aggression on their opponent, provided they can aim well enough. This all sounded way fun but really difficult. Actually, though, it turned out they both did fairly well. The first shooter pegged his target in the upper shoulder, 13 and 3/4 inches from his center, and the second shooter got two hits, one at about 15" and a second at 10" (and so he won).

How can I get in on this racket? Being bungee launched into the air like Superman and then machine-gun-paintballing my buddies? Is that not a Miller Beer commercial? ("Gentlemen... it doesn't get any better than this.")

The host of Fear Factor is Joe Rogan, famous previously for his role as Joe Garelli in the excellent show News Radio. He was the stereotypical man's man on that show: a stubborn know-it-all handyman who supposed he could fix anything. But he was better at failing to fix stuff than actually fixing it. And he'd never accept help from anyone. He was always "working on it!" My favorite quote of that character, after someone suggested he go buy some duct tape to help with a task: "Tape? Tape is a ripoff! I make my own tape!" Anyway, Joe is perfect as the host. He semi-supportive, but he also likes to talk shit with the contestants. He says things like, "You're not afraid of heights are you? That looks kinda high. You'll do good, though. No problem. I'm sure you have this stunt. No biggie, right?", or "Do you think he's going to do it faster than you? I think he thinks he's going to do it faster than you. Are you gonna let him get away with saying that?" He calls everyone "dude," and he really is just like having one of your buds there to give you shit while you try crazy stuff. I love it.

Anyway (favorite crutch word lately), after we watched Fear Factor, I got a much needed shower, and then I felt refreshed. So I got m to go with me back over to the new house, and we piddled around. I decided I wanted to work on the office, and that turned out to be an excellent idea. It took as a while to get m's desk back to the room, and some disassembly and reassembly was required, but once we got it in there, it was awesome. This is my first house where my office, bedroom, and living room are all totally separate. And the office is great. It's the one room with a wooden ceiling, and that goes great with our wooden desks. Makes it feel very soft, warm and inviting. We came up with a configuration where our desks come together to form a big "T" (imagine two L's put together), and we just had to sit there saying, "Wow!" for about a half hour after we got it all together.

We're sooooooooo happy with the new place! (Did I put enough o's in there to get the point across? If not, here are some more, in case it helps you to better visualize: ooooooooooooooooooo and oooooooooooooooo.)

BTW, R's house is really nice, too. I'm jealous of his back yard. And T's townhouse is super-nice, too. I'm jealous of her second story and her stairs. I'm jealous of the niceness of both of their new places. But we have more rooms, and our location is excellent, so I suppose I'll just have to stuff my jealousy down deep inside, so that it can come out later at some inappropriate time, preferably when I'm drunk and angry. (You know how I am when I get drunk. I'm all "fuck you bastards" and "get the hell away from me" and "I'm going to stalk you and steal your new house.")

Okay, enough babbling for now. More to follow later.

ANYway...
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