zhmort (zhmort) wrote,
zhmort
zhmort

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Updates on Me and Mine

Here is a list of stuff I've done in the past few months, with commentary. Once again I'm writing it in reverse chronological order, because lately I like viewing things that way. (And if my friend Kip ever carries through on his promise to see the movie Memento with me, I'll be able to talk more about this with him.)



  • Watched the new Bill Murray movie Lost in Translation. I agree with IMDB users that it's about an 8.1. I can't really explain what it's "about", even after having seen it. But I loved it. Bill Murray can do no wrong at this point, as far as I can tell. I wish he'd give in to the reality TV phenomenon and just let cameras follow him around all day long. He seems like such an intelligent, fun, and thoughtful person. (I wonder if that's all acting. It can't just be acting, can it?)

  • Hung out a little more often with one of my dearest, longest-time friends, who is moving away this week to embark on new adventures. (Exciting for her, but mostly a bummer for me. I will miss her dearly, and resolve to visit her often. It helps that she'll be in one of the two main places my family lives. And it will give me just that much more motivation to visit that place, so that's probably a win for everyone.)

  • Completed a series of childbirth classes at the Blossom Birth Center (including Blossom Childbirth Preparation, which was 4 classes in 4 weeks, and also the one-day classes Baby Care, Breastfeeding Basics, and Surviving the First Six Weeks). My head is swimming with tons of information, and I take it this means we are supposedly qualified to have a kid now. I can't wait to get started building our boy's first neuroses, stunting his growth, and generally screwing him up for life! Or, uh... wait a minute. I meant to say, "Bonding with our baby, nurturing him, and building a family". Yeah, that's the ticket! ;-)

  • Established a relationship with my boy. The first heartbeat monitor experience was cool, and then the Ultrasound was even cooler. But both of those were still really too abstract to convince me deep down that there is really a child in zmary's belly. (After all, someone could have made recordings and photographs and just played them for me. Would have been an easy hoax to pull off...) But feeling him move around in there... that's just super-cool. (Of course, Mary could be hoaxing me there, too. But it would definitely be a more impressive level of effort to go to, so I figure at this point I may as well buy into it and go with it.) I like to put my cheek on her belly and talk to him, and sing to him. I even speak Spanish to him a little bit. (Because I've read that there is a huge difference between learning a language in the first few years versus later in life, I'm hoping to help him be bilingual from the start. Of course, I'm not really bilingual myself, but I'm at least a second-year Spanish student at this point. I figure all I have to do is stay ahead of him, and keep practicing what I know in his presence. I should be able to stay ahead of him until he's at least 9 or 10... months... or so. At that point, he'll be off to college anyway, and then I can relax and go back to forgetting and atrophying and not learning anything new, as was my way before I had a boy on the way.)

  • Worked a lot, but enjoyed it more than ever. I think I'm really starting to grow into my new role as a manager. It was a little bewildering and anxiety-inducing at first, but that didn't last too long. As with many of my previous opportunities, I find that I'm growing into this one faster than I initially expected, but just as fast as I should have expected if only I'd been just a little bit more confident. I am lucky to have such a good, stable, challenging, rewarding job. Especially in this economy, and in this area.

  • Began getting up a little earlier, going to work a little earlier, getting off work earlier, and going to bed a little earlier, mostly in order to get more time with Mary, but also in order to make a better showing at work. (My goal is to become "9-to-6 boy".) I've been meaning to do this since forever, but somehow it's been a little easier to accomplish more recently. (Maybe I'm just getting old?. *shrug*)

  • Visited my little sister brandylee as well as my older brother Dave and his family in Oregon. That was a wonderful trip. I don't get to see my Oregonian family members enough, and wish it were easier to get up there more often. Also, Oregon has a lot of families with babies. Way more than Silicon Valley, if my intuitive sense and my random sampling of the PDX and SJC airports are reliable indicators. (I am family-crazy these days, what can I say? I know my mom is probably thinking, "What the heck happened to that errant 20-year-old who couldn't get far enough away from his family?" And to that I answer, "He came back to himself, thankfully.") Family is important. Family is a good thing. I am glad to have such a wonderful family, and I'm glad to be working on adding to it real soon now. :-)

  • Agreed with Mary that we're going to name the boy Thomas, and that we'll probably mostly call him Tommy. One of my favorite things about this name is that it has so many common forms (Thomas, Tom, Tommy, Tee-Money, Tomolomolinksi), as well as a clear Spanish analog (Tomas, Tomasito, Lil' Tomasito-ito). These characteristics (easy nicknames including one with the "y" on the end plus a Spanish analog) were actually part of our criteria for searching for names. Interestingly, I hit upon this name and started liking it before ever talking to Mary about it. And only after thinking I might like that name did I remember about Mary's uncle Tom who had died a couple of years ago. Once I remembered that, I was certain she would love it as a tribute at the very least, and of course she loved it for that reason and the others I already mentioned. Tommy's middle name will be David. Both Mary and I have a brother named David, and we both like the name, so that one as middle name was actually the first thing we were sure of when we found out we were having a boy.

  • Read every Miles Vorkosikan novel (all of which were authored by Lois McMaster Bujold). These were highly entertaining, and often thought-provoking. I love Bujold's ability to create rich, layered, believeable worlds and cultures. I also love her fascination with understanding the motivations of people. Miles often ends up investigating weird happenings with very little information, and his ability to explain observed facts and behaviors by understanding motivations is a big key to his success. I aspire to understand people that well. (I also aspire to understand myself well, too. Better than Miles, actually. That part isn't his greatest strength, and explains a lot of the misfortune he encounters in his life.) Interestingly (to me, anyway), before starting this series, it had been quite a while since I'd read any fiction. But I whizzed through this series (about 10 books) in just a few months. And I never felt like I was rushing or missing anything. It was a great use of a dozen dozen hours or so. :-)

  • Watched in awe as my wife became more and more beautiful every day of her pregnancy. She gets more beautiful daily on her own, without any special help. But there is definitely something extra going on, hitting me deep in the softest part of my heart, with this whole carrying my child thing. This is probably a little bit of a movie spoiler, but there is a scene near the end of Matchstick Men where Nicolas Cage leans down and puts his face next to his wife's pregnant belly, and it is an indication of just how wonderfully things have turned around for him. He has a wife, he has a child on the way, and all is finally well in his life. I remember watching scenes like that earlier in my life and feeling anything from envy to sadness to bitterness, because it wasn't happening for me. Now that it is, I am trying my hardest to appreciate it, to not take it for granted, and to really, really enjoy it. I know of friends and co-workers who want this for themselves, and for one reason or another aren't getting to experience it right now, and my heart just swells with empathy for them. I wish there was some way I could just break off a piece and pass it on to them. Since that isn't really possible, though, I guess the best I can do is to just be aware that getting this opportunity in life is not a given, and somehow work to prove myself worthy. Also, for those who care, there shall be lots and lots of sharing the baby. ("Sure", I hear you thinking, "this is just your clever way of Tom Sawyer-ing us all into babysitting for you, isn't it?!" And to that I answer, "Of course, dear ones. Of course.")



There have been other recent happenings involving me, but these were all that I could think of off the top of my head in a little over an hour. So, I'll stop now and post it so I can stay on the good "early to bed" schedule.

Thanks for tuning in, everybody. Love and hugs to all!


***

NOTE: This was posted originally on zderek


Comments on original posting on zderek:


Love this post!
gilcherfamily
2003-09-22 05:25 am

I really like these reverse chronological long update posts you do. Especially love this one...that whole paragraph about Mary and the baby and the appreciation all of the related experiences was beautiful. How lucky you guys are to have each other!! And how lucky little Tommy will be to have you for parents! Hugs to all!!




zmary
2003-09-22 08:39 am
This made me laugh and cry. What a great post to wake up to!

Te amo demasiado...


What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man

surfmom
2003-09-22 02:20 pm

What a reward it is to read your entries! How blessed I feel to be one of your friends. I love the way you love your wife and and son. Thank you for the happy tears!
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